Jim or (hi-meh) n: (1) kick-ass dad (2) rebel (3) maverick (4) expert mechanic
Jim led a very dangerous and glamorous life as an international spy before meeting the girl of his dreams in 1987. Cindy wanted a family, so Jim gladly gave up his life of mystery and intrigue to settle down and blend into suburban life. In 1989 we were planning a lovely wedding...until it became an enormous pain. So we eloped.....settle down, we made the folks happy with a big reception on the originally planned date.
In 1991 we bought a dilapidated house that children wouldn't even approach on Halloween. With the help of friends and family we gutted the interior. We had to put it together fast because we were still paying rent on our apartment. We would work eight hours at our jobs then haul ourselves to the house until midnight or so and fix it up.
Jim took two weeks vacation from his family's wine business and rewired the whole house using electrical knowledge he picked up after high school working for an electrical contractor friend. He enjoyed seeing the result of his labor and realized he didn't like schmoozing or being a "yes-man". When the house was done he asked Cindy how she would feel if he left his suit-and-tie world to start his own electrical business. Cindy, loving him like she does, told him to do what made him happy and the money would work itself out. Jim gave his two weeks notice to his surprised family, they wished him well knowing that he'd come back. He never did. Three weeks later, Cindy learned she was expecting.
Cindy or (chee-na) n: (1) mom (2) McGuyver (3) domestic goddess
Mom The Glue that holds this family together for starters. When it seems like everything is falling apart, she is the "Little Ray of Sunshine", who pulls the family together to work things out.
Cindy can get along with just about anyone and will lend a helping hand to those who need it. For instance Matt will come to her and say, "Hey mom Spiderman's head got chopped off with my Lego helicopter blade. How can we fix it?" Then she will do her best to reattach Spiderman's head to his body, even if that means taping, tying or gluing it back together. She can fix almost anything because she is very creative and has been given the nickname McGuyver by her friends.
Mom is a very kind person but when need be, she will verbally kick your ass instead of physically. She is quick witted and has a great sense of humor, which makes her easy to joke and hang out with.
Maddie is trying to convince her to buy a bass guitar so that they can jam together. Mom would love to (she is totally, freaking, awesome, like that) but unfortunately, at the moment we don't have any room for it.
Cindy is wild and unpredictable, she could care less if everyone in the store thinks she is a total freak for singing and dancing to the music playing in Wal-Mart. And we love her for it.
She is also a wonderful cook MMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmm our bus has got to smell the best as dinner is cooking I can only wonder what the neighbors are thinking as they salivate.
Madeleine (Maddie) n: (1) a leader (2) independent soul (3) future rock star (4) nemesis of preppy girls everywhere
Doctors had said Cindy would need help conceiving (ok, yes, Jim had to help, but they meant medical help) so we figured we'd deal with that when it was time. Maddie being the small rebel that she is, decided it was just time to get in on the act. In March of 1992, she arrived.
Maddie tamed her first pet, a feral kitten she named Tom, when she was four. When she sets her mind on something she is relentless. Impossible is not in her vocabulary. Since she was small, she preferred to hang around with boys because in her words, "They're not so much of a pain as girls are Mom".
When Maddie was in third grade, we noticed that her spark seemed dimmer. While she was at an excellent private school, there wasn't much room for her to question the rules or the teachers. We figured she could do one of two things, rebel or even worse, become docile and conform. Knowing neither one would be good for her we said "why not?" and decided to homeschool her.
This decision has reverberated through our lives and made it possible to ask "Why Not?" to so many other things.
Although a tomboy by nature, she is becoming a lovely young woman. However she would rather arm wrestle a boy or pick the brains of a fellow guitar player than read an issue of Seventeen magazine.
Matthew (Matt) n: (1) tender soul (2) chatterbox extraordinaire (3) a comic genius
Matthew came along in October of 1995 and cried until he was two. Little did we know he was just expressing his serious talent as a future dramatic actor. Cindy has been heard many times announcing "and the Oscar for best performance by an actor in a dramatic role goes to... MATTHEW JAMES".
We took Matthew out of school at the same time as his sister, he was in Pre-K. His memories of that school are as follows "They made me eat lunch outside with the bees, mom, when they knew how scared of bees I was....I was only four and they MADE ME EAT WITH THEM ANYWAY!"
Matthew is curious about everything and never stops talking. He is a master of disguise, and can build anything he can imagine. Much to his sister's horror he will unabashedly dance with his Mom in the grocery store and shake it like a Polaroid picture. He is an endless source of entertainment and a delight.
A little background...
In 1987 we had: a rented a 1 bedroom apt, a 1986 Nissan Pickup to make payments on, a 1976 Toyota Corolla, we made our own Christmas ornaments and gave out homemade presents. We both worked 40 hrs per week. We were shacking up and very happy.
In 1990 we had: a rented 3 bedroom apt that we shared with my sister, a new Nissan Pathfinder to make payments on, an American Express card, pretty Christmas ornaments from Macy's and we gave out better gifts. We both worked 40 hrs per week. We were married and very happy.
In 1992 we had: a baby, a home of our own on a busy street in downtown San Jose with a lovely fence to keep the bums out, a Nissan Pathfinder we were still paying on, a BMW, a 1953 Willy's Jeep, an American Express gold card, friends over every weekend for dinner. Jim had his own business and worked 60 hours per week. We were really happy.
In 1995 we had: two little ones, a cat, a new Chevy Suburban, a Ford work van, the BMW, and a Jeep. Cindy and the kids spent a week at the beach in the summer and we all went to Tahoe for a week in winter. We were too busy to entertain every weekend, but we threw fabulous birthday parties! Jim had employees and worked 60+ hours per week and spent his spare time becoming a computer whiz. We were happy.
In December of 1999 we sold that first little 800sf 2bd/1ba house and bought a 2100sf 4bd/3ba home in a lovely neighborhood that held pancake breakfasts, spaghetti dinners and even had a cabana with a swim team! We were quite pleased with ourselves.
In 2000 we were living the dream. We had: a fabulous house, two children with sports schedules & play dates, a cat, a Suburban, a sexy red Volvo wagon, two Jeeps, and the biggest, baddest widescreen TV with surround sound that rattled the windows. We belonged to a swim and racquet club. Cindy and the kids would spend 10 days at the beach in summer, everyone 10 days at Tahoe in winter. Jim had since started two computer companies and now had a partner. Jim traveled often and worked 70+ hours per week and would spend 3-4 hours per night working from his home office.
We were successful.
In 2001 we still had all of the above but we started asking questions!! Where do we start?
First, we figured out that the widely accepted method of educating children didn't quite wash with us. In April we removed the kids from school. For the rest of that school year, Cindy and the kids spent their days swimming, jumping in piles of leaves, catching tadpoles and going to the library. Life was fine, except that we rarely saw Jim.
Meanwhile, the part of Jim's family that ran the wine business thought it would be an excellent idea for Jim, his brother, sister and eight other cousins to buy into the business using an upcoming inheritance. While, the others readily agreed, Jim started asking questions. Pesky questions like, "what's the income, debt, profit or loss, what about management?" Well, no one was about to answer any questions or let him walk with his share of cash (lest others follow his lead). However, Jim's questions and the lack of answers did raise the curiosity of two cousins. Long story short, the three guys had to embark on what would be an ugly, very expensive, three year court battle to prevent themselves from being invested against their will (yes, it's possible).
Out of this experience we learned so many lessons. Doing the right thing is usually hard and can be costly. Treating your children with disregard leaves scars that last. Making a name for yourself rarely brings you closer to your children .
Jim began a new company that specialized in communication within manufacturing environments.
In 2003 Cindy started thinking we didn't need half of the stuff we had, because the more we had the less we saw of Jim. She would occasionally plant seeds like, "let's just sell the house and buy a little place with some land". Jim would respond that people didn't just do that, he had clients and would remind her that they were in the middle of a lawsuit.
In 2004 we had: two happy homeschooled children, all the above stuff from 1999, and huge lawyer bills. Jim worked long hours interrupted by court appearances.
We had long dreamed of buying a home in the country where the kids could ride dirt bikes and make tree platforms with zip lines, where we could drive off into the forest with our Jeeps and have some room to roam. Our dinner conversations often started out with someone saying, "When we move out to the country....". One night Jim started with that line when Maddie interrupted, "Are we ever moving to the country or are you guys just going to talk about it forever?". Jim countered like a reasonable adult with, "Now Maddie, it's just not that simple", to which she replied, "actually Daddy, it is." We all thought about that for a while.
A few weeks later we were all watching the Travel Channel's '10 Wonders of the West' or something like that, oohing and ahhing over all of the beautiful things we were too busy to visit. The next morning Jim woke up and said, "What are we doing? I'm working for stuff and missing out on our life!" The clouds parted a sun beam shone down upon us and a heavenly chorus sang HALLELUJAH!! (okay not really). We called the kids down and asked them what they would think if we sold the house, bought an RV and traveled around the country. First they thought we were messing with them, then they realized we were serious and started jumping around like crazy people. They changed out of their jammies and we went RV shopping. It was Presidents' Day weekend.
We decided to keep only stuff that was irreplaceable or sentimental. We packed only what we wanted to keep and left everything where it stood in our house. This included shoes, clothing and toys in closets, dishes and appliances in the kitchen and tools in the garage. We filled a 10x10 storage unit, and sold everything else. In March we had a huge estate sale letting 10-15 people at a time wander through the house picking what they wanted. It was really tempting to let some of the shoppers believe the worst when they would ask "Did the whole family die?"
The house listed and closed in 20 days during April 2004. We were free. We figured we could afford to travel for two years, and still be able to buy our place in the country when we found it. Now we just needed the RV.